This post is based on one that I wrote for The Blog Patrol a few months back. This is my response to the request for a post on Blog Flirtations.
Below are a few thoughts on blogging etiquette that, if followed, should contribute to healthy long-term relationships between you and your blogger buddies (or nemeses–as fortunately, we don’t all have the same opinions):
1. Comment. It’s okay to lurk a few times to see if this is a blog you want to flirt with, date, marry, or kick to the curb. Don’t be wishy-washy, though. After a few visits, it’s rude not at least say hi. Give feedback. Give good doggies. We’re all looking for a little love (and a lot of comments).
2. If someone comments on your site, at least take the time to look at their site. This is the flirtation stage, and it can be just as exciting in the blog world as it is in reality. Lurk a bit, see if their latest post is worth commenting on—or, just go ahead–leave a comment thanking them for visiting your site—and see if they come back to you.
3. Don’t be a tease. You can flirt for a while, but then comes the time to decide: Are we dating? Do I want to read this blog a couple times per week, or more? And the great thing about Blogtopia, baby, is you can date a whole lotta blogs!
4. If someone links you in their sidebar, return the favor, if you do, in actuality, read their blog regularly. Or have a clear sidebar policy as to who you link to and why. Eddo has a great one. I don’t subscribe to Blogrolling, partially because I want to keep my sidebar neat, but I have to add or delete links in my template, which is time consuming (plus I’m lazy–so, if we’re dating, and I have yet to link to you, I apologize).
5. Once you read their blog and they read your blog on a daily basis and you both comment regularly—you’re married. And the great thing about blogging is…you can be married to as many blogs as you want, but remember, marriages are hard work, so don’t go into it lightly. And, of course, breaking up is hard to do–and less difficult if you’re dating than if you’re married. Just as in life, be honest. If you’re going to be out of town or extremely busy for a few weeks, say so. If you need to divorce someone, do it gently–and via e-mail. There’s no need to announce to all your readers that you are breaking someone’s heart. Which leads me to…
6. Be edgy, be funny, be flirty, be risqué—but there is no reason to be mean, ugly, or rude (unless it’s about Britney Spears). Your Edgy Mama says, “Treat others the way you would like to be treated.”
Thus is today’s lesson over. Feel free to add your own etiquette ideas (see point number one).
ahhh the flirt…
I blogroll to flirt, then decide whether I want to keep them – sort of like seeing someone. I was deeply hurt once when I was married to someone, and… they divorced me with no notice. Just *poof*
Great blog! And let’s add that while one could be rude about Britney Spears, we can leave her poor new little boy out of the rude sphere. Kid only has my sympathy right now.
I hadn’t thought of it like this before…
You’ve been flirting with me for some time now. Wanna go on a date?
So much etiquette, so little time. Edgy Mama, who’da thot you’d have such mastery of bloggistic protocol? But thanx. I still feel like a blogvirgin, tho. No help for it.
And these are the things you think up in that brain of yours. There ya go, using that mind-thingy you’ve got again.
I have never been mean to anyone, but if you think it’s okay, please shoot me Britney’s URL.
My name was in this post! Yeah. That is my favorite kind of post, one that has my name in it.
And yes, these points are very good and should be reviewed often because some people take their blog life a little too seriously. Blogging is fun and should never be hurtful. As EM pointed out “Fortunately, we have differing opinions” – and we can learn from those opinions, we might night always agree with them, but we can respect them.
Sure, Screwy. You buying?
Ah, Todd, you blogvirgin, you. Come sit at my feet and…whatever.
Yeah Hoss, you’re all sweetness and light. Don’t change a thing.
jeez, screwy, what am i? chopped blogwurst? (stamping feet) sheesh.
After reading this post, I realized I am not a good blog flirt. I feel so Napoleon Dynamite right now. Cue music. I’m ready to dance.
Excellent advice, AF, that we should all take to heart. This is a very nice community of people who post, journal and document their lives and opinions. I appreciate the consideration and courtesy and I know I feel crummy when I lapse. So- thank you!
Come on, Ash, Screwy pimps you all the time. Remember you can date a lot of blogs in Blogtopia. Share the love, babe.
Matt, I wanna see that dance!
whatever, EM. while you’re the belle of the ball, i’m feeling like swami virato’s fourth wife. it’s cold in siberia. what to do about blog envy? and, like mxmulder, blog anxiety. you just going to tell me to vote for Pedro?
It’s a bloggy af-fair, it’s a bloggy af-fair. One blog grows up to be someone who just loves to learn, and a-nother blog grows up to be someone who just loves to burn, it’s a bloggy affair…
Sorry, too much Sly & the Family Stone.
I like to think what we have, Mrs Jones, we’ve got a thang, goin’ on. Me a-and Mrs. Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones…
DAMN! And to think, I just barely mastered dating women (ok, reputable women) long enough to get hitched to one. And that was ten years ago…
Now this? I gotta tell you. I’m not sure where we are and I’d probably be a bad blog date because I cant remember all those rules and ettiquitte. How bout I just keep shooting you comments and you can call it what you want.
Besides, I’m married to Chad (apparently) and I think I’m gonna make him my blog-biatch.
And Ash… If you don’t enable your profile so we can see your blog, we can’t go visit it.
Donde es la blog, mi amiga?
Can I be your girlfriend?
I’ll out Ash, Greg: http://www.ashevilleblog.com. He mostly writes about local stuff, but with verve.
Sheesh, Autumn–all these bout to be married folks want to date me? I’m honored. Oh, and I know I need to link you, babe. It’ll happen. One day.
Ash, how many wives has Virato had?
Sing it, sistah!
Oh, and sweetie, you know it’s me, not you. My life is whacked out right now but you are never far from my thoughts…always in my heart. I still read you. I just don’t always have the time to show you the love you deserve. You are one of the top five clicks on my crushroll–everyone else is just fringe…sort of my thang on the side. It’s mutual and so I don’t feel guilty.
Oh, and what is this “flirting” you speak of? ; )
well, it only makes sense if you’re coming to join me and Chelsea eventually.
I’m not worried about the link. I know you read me and comment, so what’s the big deal? I’ve actually reached the point where I stop checking my hits everyday and rarely check for links. Maybe it’s just the wedding, but for now, it doesn’t phase me.
Edgy Mama, i don’t the swami actually calls them “wives,” if you know what i mean…
guess this is flirting then.
Just discovered your blog tonight and bookmarked it. Maybe we can date someday and even get married.
I’m going to have to take notes if you add too many more rules.