…well, the obvious, like the basics get taken care of, but the general hygiene and cleanliness standards around here drop precipitously.
By the way, I’m reading David Mitchell right now, who is reminding me of how substandard my once precocious vocabulary has become, so I may start fecundating scintillating verbiage. Don’t worry, though, it probably won’t last for long.
So, the boy comes home from school on Friday, while I’m still feverish and bed-ridden. The FIRST sentence out of his mouth is: “Daddy made a big mistake.” Already, he loves telling on his Dad, my little Oedipus (yeah, one of his nicknames is Eddie, Jr.).
The boy pulled down his pants and revealed that he was wearing TWO pair of underpants!
Why does that sound so weird–”two pair”? Shouldn’t “two pair” be four? I’m baffled.
Anyway, we had a good laugh over Daddy doubling the boy’s undies–accidently, of course. I’m sure E’s goal was just to make damn sure the boy was wearing something under his corduroys.
Otherwise, our world went on without me, and my kids are already back from their fear that Mom is going to die and leave them to languish, surviving only on Daddy waffles and stale Cheerios, to the self-absorbed, non-appreciative demand that is children.
Thanks for your concern about my indisposition. My convalescence was brief, and I had the weekend to regain my strength, so I’ll be back in the salt mines of life full-force tomorrow.
I hope you all had a more frivolous weekend than I. If you did, I want to hear about it!
hey – cool flickr badge in your left-hand rail!
damn, i’ve never read so many $3 words in my life. i’ll be glad when that book wears off.
I could live on Espouse’s waffles… mmmmmmmm
Frivolous? Maybe. I came home to find cops camped out waiting for me.
Back rubbies & piping hot cups of chamomile tea to you Mama!
Did you ever see the Woody Allen flick, Crooks and Liars? Tracey Ullman, in her efforts to get edu-macated, starts memorizing all the words in the dictionary and for a good 15 minutes scene or so, she spends a lot of time using all these amazing words that all begin with A. Should you decide on the further enhancement of your vocab, that was one approach…
P.S. The name of the movie was not Crooks and Liars. That’s a blog (what a mess I’ve become). The name of the movie was Small Time Crooks.
Hmmm…..double underpants. He just might be onto something? We go through several pairs a day here with my son and his “leaky hose.”
(I’m sure he’ll be glad I mentioned that one day).
Glad you are feeling better! : )
Glad you’re better! The double undies is hilarious.
Okay, Autumn, I’m coming over to hear the story. You better have blogged about it!
Oh hush, Ash. Since I have to use 8th grade level vocabulary for my journalism, I must get my belletristic needs met elsewhere!
Riley,
One of my mentees, a young writer who is MUCH smarter than I, recently wrote and had PRODUCED a one-act play called Love from A to Z. There were, obviously, 26 short scenes, each featuring a multitude of vocab from each letter in the alphabet. And it all made sense!
Michelle,
I’m so glad to be past the “leaky hose” stage. You’ll get there!
Thanks, Peach! Sending rubbies back!
fecundating (that is NOT a verb) and more than one pair of underpants in the same post is over the top, even for you. Take more Advil.
Oh EM, I’ll email you. I thought about blogging it, but upon discussion with a friend we decided there’s some things you don’t blog: sex with strangers, late night visits from the cops, and the things you did while on drugs.
Or better… call me, it’s a better story with inflection.