Edgy Mama

Steve Almond is one of my white hot writer crushes.

There, I said it in print, where it will be Google cached forever and ever, which is only slightly less embarrassing than when I said I have a white hot writer crush on Ron Rash, and that confession ended up in a guide to Asheville that’s in every hotel room within 10 miles of my home. Of course, no one reads the section on “Literary Asheville” because they’re too busy looking for a good restaurant.

Even if you’ve never heard of Steve or read his books, you should read Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life (released two days ago). Because rock and roll’s important to everyone, particularly to those of us lucky enough to have lived through its dawn, morning and early afternoon. (I think our kids might take rock and roll for granted, while our parents are still a bit wary of the style–though my Dad recently asked me to find the lyrics to a Blues Traveler song for him on the Internets. Really).

Plus Steve’s an amazing writer. He manages to segue between absolutely hilarious and absolutely heartfelt. Here’s some of the hilarious. At the end of an “exegesis” of the song, “(I Bless the Rains Down in) Africa,” Steve translates for the song’s hero: “Dear Drought-Plagued Continent…You really remind me of this chick I want to sleep with. Something about you–maybe it’s the wild dogs or the ancient melodies or the starving children I watch on TV–makes me realize I’ve been working too hard. I need to give myself more time to do and consume things with my lady, who I wish would get here already. In return, I bless your rains.”

Brilliant, no? Plus he used the word “exegesis,” which makes me hot.

Now for the heartfelt. Writing about his kids, Steve says, “If they’re lucky, someday they’ll have children of their own. And they’ll realize that you don’t have to be a rock start to feel like a rock star. All you need is a soft little human with a sweet-smelling head who settles down at night with her bottle and says, ‘Papa sing.’”

I’d be teary now if I could get that stupid Toto song out of my head.

I was lucky enough to interview Steve for Mountain Xpress in 2008. You can read that interview here if you want. He came to Asheville, gave an awesome author reading at Malaprop’s, then invited me to have drinks with him and some of the bookstore staff, who put up with me when I mentioned that I, too, had once worked as an independent bookseller.

Either because my brain was muddled from proximity to one of my white hot writer crushes or because I’d had too many beers, I neglected to get someone to take a photo of me with Steve. I did, however, take this photo of Steve and a random fan, after Steve had written instructions for her boyfriend on her upper chest.

I was so excited that I cut parts of Steve out of the photo. Or I was drunk.

But the point is, who wouldn’t want to hang out with this guy? You can, but unless he’s coming to your town on tour or until I can entice him back to Ashevegas, it’ll have to be via Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life.

I was honored to be interviewed for an article in A Look of Asheville: Showcasing the Best in Dining, Shopping, and Sightseeing. The book is an annual publication that goes to live in hotel rooms all over town.

I was interviewed about Asheville’s literary scene, and, in the article, I admit to “a white-hot author crush” on Ron Rash. Just to set the record straight, I’ve met Rash, and while he’s an attractive guy, I have a crush on his writing, not on him himself. Not that I regret saying that, especially because, while thousands of words have been written about Rash’s prize-winning books, I bet I’m the only person who’s said those words about the man’s writing. Of course, I doubt anyone’s going to be asking for me to drop the humor/parenting gig and become a literary critic.

I’d link to the article, but it doesn’t seem to be on-line yet, and there’s a huge reproduction prohibition warning in the front of the book, so I’m not going to copy the section I’m included in without permission.

Here’s the link to last year’s A Look at Asheville. If you find yourself in a local hotel room over the next year and in proximity to the 2009 edition, check out page 67.

Oh, and my top two locally-written novel recommendations: Rash’s Serena and Tommy Hays’ In the Family Way. Read ‘em if you haven’t already.

Thanks to Jer for interviewing me and calling me “voracious.” Great adjective.

I gave in to peer pressure and my own sense of curiosity and read two of the Twilight series novels by Stephenie Meyer (there are four total).

The books are page turners, for sure, although I found the first novel (Twilight) has too much unnecessary exposition, particularly at the beginning. The second novel, New Moon, is clearly more polished. Meyer learned from writing the first book, as novelists should.

So yes, I enjoyed them, for the adolescent angsty books they are. However, I don’t read many romances and the whole over-arching melodrama of the romance between the main characters made me feel old and cynical. And a bit bored.

Also, the author has a habit of slamming home certain characteristics of her characters–by telling more than showing. I about threw the books out the window after reading the narrator/protagonist, Bella, describe herself as klutzy like 800 times. And, unlike Bella, I have good aim. I probably could have taken out Mr. Squirrel given the heft of Twilight.

Also, the repeated image of the “jagged empty hole” in Bella’s chest created by the departure of her beloved in New Moon made me feel a jagged hole a bit lower.

Pleeeaaase. Who edits these best-selling books? Anyone?

I do, however, love a good horror story. I like some of the vampire/werewolf mythology Meyer melds to fit her plot. But I’m not exactly running to read the next two books.

In fact, today, after finishing, New Moon, I needed a dose of my kind of horror. So I pulled my beloved 1897 edition of “The Horror Omnibus” off my shelf. The omnibus contains the original and complete works of both Dracula and Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus.

Here’s a lovely quotation from my man Bram’s amazing novel Dracula:

“Then a dog began to howl somewhere in a farmhouse far down the road, a long, agonized wailing, as if from fear. The sound was taken up by another dog, and then another and another, till, borne on the wind which now sighed softly through the Pass, a wild howling began, which seemed to come from all over the country, as far as the imagination could grasp it through the gloom of the night.”

Here’s a quotation from gothic romance queen Stephenie Meyer’s New Moon:

“Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew – knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest – was how love gave someone the power to break you. I’d been broken beyond repair.”

Damn. I hate it when that happens.

I’m having a lazy Sunday morning, letting the kidlings watch Robots, which is distracting, because I keep hearing Robin Williams’ voice behind me. I may go re-rack with my book for a while. I’m reading Denis Johnson’s Tree of Smoke, which is absolutely riveting and amazing. It deserved the National Book Award it won.

I went to a friend’s 40th birthday party last night, but everyone was scared to talk to me after reading my Party Rules column. I did manage to find a guy who’d brought a lovely, lovely Belgium ale to the party, which he generously shared with me. We talked about The Thirsty Monk, an all Belgian beer bar due to open in Ashvegas on January 24. I can’t wait!

I’m taking a page from Stephen King, who writes a “Best of…” (books, movies, TV shows, etc.,) each year for Entertainment Weekly. Of course, most of what King likes actually was published or came to theaters during the year he’s writing about. When compiling my list, I realized that I don’t see many new movies or read many new books and, of course, I don’t watch TV, so this list is not particularly cultural. In fact, it’s rather anemic. But what the hell.

In no particular order, EM’s Best of 2007:

The Road by Cormac McCarthy. This book arrived in paperback in 2007. And it was, by far, my best read of the year. Moving, poetic, elegaic, amazing. Read it if you haven’t already. Then go stock your personal nuclear bunker.

(Not that You Asked) Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions by Steve Almond. This book was pubbed in 2007, and I actually purchased it in hard cover. Because I adore Steve’s writing. If you’ve been reading the bloggie, you’ve already read my laudatory words for this guy’s work. This book does make me laugh out loud. And if you read my column for this week’s Mt. X, you’ll know I don’t often do that.

Stardust, the movie. Loved the book, loved the movie, despite the addition of the gay pirate bits. Neil Gaiman rocks.

Down River by John Hart. Second novel by a co-North Carolinian. As fast-paced as Grisham but with deeper characterization. When I went to link the book on Amazon, I saw that Uncle Newt gave the novel a great review. Yep, Newt Gringrich, related to me through marriage, is an avid reader and top Amazon reviewer. I still don’t like his politics, but the guy knows books.

Emotionalism by The Avett Brothers. Album of the year, no question. By the funky, alt-bluegrass, incredibly talented A Bros. And they’re fun to look at too.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling. Despite it all, the end came too soon.

Ratatouille, the movie. Cute animated rats cooking in a Parisian restaurant. What’s not to love?

Best American Short Stories 2007 edited by Stephen King. The short story lives. Kind of. At least in the Best of series. Buy it and acquaint yourself with great tales, shortly told.

Anyone else got a list to share?

My weekly column is up at Mountain Xpress.

If you’ve read Eat, Pray, Love, you need to read the column. Hell, you should read it anyway. And comment. Because you’ve got nothing better to do the week before Christmas, right?

Happy Monday, all!

I love the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman, of which The Golden Compass is the first book. As most of you know, the movie version of that book was released last weekend. I have yet to see it, although I want to.

A couple of weeks ago, I received an e-mail from a friend about the purported atheistic themes in the book and film. I did not reply thoughtfully, although several of my other friends who received the e-mail did reply thoughfully. My reply was basically, this is bs.

Then I started thinking about the books and Pullman, who does claim to be an atheist. But so what? What’s wrong with atheism? In my mind, nothing. It’s a belief system, and one that those who choose it have thought through carefully, in most cases. It’s not subversive or wrong, it just is, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be taught alongside other belief systems such as Buddhism, Christianity, or Hindi.

I’ve written before about my take on religions. Basically, if a religion makes someone happy and, most importantly, doesn’t hurt anyone, I’m cool with it. In truth, there aren’t many religions that fit into the second part of that equation. Atheism, while more a belief system than a ture religion (whatever that is), doesn’t hurt anyone. As far as I can tell, atheists, often known also as secular humanists, have never started a war or killed anyone for not believing what they believe.

To my mind, religious discrimination is one of the last barriers that needs to fall for this earth to become a more peaceful place. Again, if a religion or belief system makes someone happy and doesn’t hurt anyone else, what’s the problem?

The reviews of The Golden Compass note that there are no overt references to atheism, and that most people won’t get the possible connections between Pullman’s Magisterium and the Catholic church. So, enjoy the movie for the fantasy-filled adventure story that is it, and leave the atheists alone.

I admitted in one of my comment threads last week that I finished After Dark by Haruki Murakami a few weeks ago, and I liked it, but I just don’t know what to write about it. When I was an English Lit grad student, I would’ve come up with some erudite, though slightly righteous, analysis. Nowadays, I’m less concerned with being a lit crit and more concerned with finding the time to read great books.

After Dark is an extremely well-written and sometimes mesmerizing novel. I don’t think it’s for everyone, though. In fact, the whole magical realism sections of the book, where some gorgeous Sleeping Beauty character and her bed get sucked through the TV screen, just didn’t do it for me.

The primary story, tracing the hours of a night in a number of intriguing characters’ lives as their paths accidentally crossed, was pretty damn cool. The problem is that I wanted more. The novel ends, appropriately, as the sun is rising, but damn, I felt invested in these characters by then and felt like I got left hanging. As they say in writing circles, the author didn’t complete his contract with me, the reader.

So, after After Dark, I skidded off into the world of escapist fiction. I read Tess Gerritsen’s The Mephisto Club,and Michael Connelly’s The Echo Project, (both are out in paperback). Both of these writers fulfilled their contracts with me and gave me satisfying stories. However, both books are a bit like a peppermint candy–sweet, minty, satisfying, but the taste fades after a while, until only the barest scent of spice remains.

Right now, at this very moment, I’m reading Steve Almond’s new book, Rants, Exploits, and Obsessions (Not that You Asked). Somewhere in the distant past of this bloggie, I wrote a love letter to Steven’ Almond’s nonfiction masterpiece, Candy Freak. Since then, I’ve followed Steve closely. His short story collection, The Evil B.B. Chow, rocked my soul–made me laugh, made me happy, made me mad, made me want to chew on Steve Almond’s toes in gratitude.

This new book, a memoirish collection, makes me want to be Steve Almond, except still be me. I sit there, reading this book, thinking, “Wait, I can do this too. I do do this too already. I’m writing humorous little stories about my parenting life.” Then, I notice some particularly brilliant little line or twist or effing-hilarious riff, and I think, “I suck. I can’t do this. I can’t believe I’d even consider comparing myself to this guy. Mountain Xpress should fire my inarticulate heiney.”

For some reason, I seem to enjoy putting myself on this roller coaster.

I also read Steve’s blog on Babble. Babble, for the most part, tries to be an edgy on-line parenting mag, but really, like a lot of these sites, is more a vehicle for selling over-priced baby gear than promoting writers with rocking parenting stories. But they do have Steve. And you can bypass the “you must have this stroller that unfolds into a Corvette when your kid turns 16″ ads masquerading as stories and go straight to Steve. Mostly, he writes about how much he adores his baby girl, Josephine. And she’s pretty darn cute. He writes about the slavering devotion of Daddyhood, well, slaveringly.

So, what are y’all reading and what do ya think?

Since everyone else is talking about it, I figured I’d throw my opinion into the ring.

So Jo Rowling announces that Dumbledore is gay, which explains a lot about the Grindelwald story, which I found a bit confusing.

My guess is that Rowling has always known that DD was homosexual, but she just forgot to mention it. Either she thought it’d be obvious to the reader, or she just didn’t realize that she hadn’t explicitly mentioned it in the 1,000s of pages that make up the seven books of the Harry Potter series.

That said, I’m sad that this will give the crazies more ammunition against the books. Witches and hexes and homos….oh my!

What do y’all think?

BTW, What the Hell? has a much more thoughtful analysis of DD’s sexuality from her unique Pixie Dyke pov.

Commenters tied the vote on the next book I should read! Three votes each for After Dark and Cataloochee. Two votes for Suite Francaise. Several of you commented and didn’t vote, but it’s too late now!

Of course, I’ll read them all eventually. And first I need to finish Niagara Falls All Over Again. But I think I’ll go with After Dark next.

Who knew that the discussion over my next reading project would get so heated. Emotions run high among my literary nerd buddies.

In other news, I’ve been shooting up this fair city over the past 20 or so hours for Day in the Life of Asheville. This time around I didn’t plan as well or allot as much time for shooting as I did in the spring. I doubt I’ll have 12 decent shots, much less 24. But you never know. I hope you fotogs have been shooting hard!

This next week’s going to be busy and I plan to be fainting a lot because I haven’t made much headway in my goal to lose five pounds before my high school reunion. Which event is next weekend in Atlanta! Argh! So, I plan to exercise hard and eat little for the next six days. The exercise part, ironically, is the easy part for me. If I put my mind to it, I can become a workout machine. Until I hurt myself by fainting while hanging from the pull-up bar.

Of course I’m going to an oyster roast/barbecue/microbrew party tonight. But I figure if I don’t eat much until the party, then I can drink a couple beers, get tipsy, and then totally forget to eat while I entertain the other party-goers.

I purchased two growlers of French Broad’s Marzen Oktoberfest brew, which is ambery and delicious. I’d planned to write an article for Mt X on local Oktoberfest brews, but I got busy and didn’t follow-through, and then the beer guy totally wrote a rocking round-up of Oktoberfest beers, so instead of writing about Oktoberfest beer, I’m just going to drink it.

I may have to take some local Oktoberfest brews to my high school reunion as well, because I’m a bit concerned that they’re going to serve Stroh’s, in memory of our glory days of chugging the watery liquid in parks and parking lots. Is Stroh’s even made anymore?