Musings on aging, responsibility and parenting using a recent high school band reunion (and Kurt Vonnegut) as jumping off points:
Not that I want to talk too much about the ravages of aging, but some obvious differences between us at 18 and us at 45 include more adipose tissue and less hair. And those 25,000 beers we’ve drunk over the past 30 years? Some of them stuck around to pad our middles — making us more huggable, right?
Forget print journalism and crazy newsweeklies going all digital.
Here’s my plan:
“Big news here in Edgy land. This is my final Edgy Mama column. I’m traveling a new career path, one that other Ashevillians have taken, though I’ll be the first female to dip my big toe into the vat o’ hops.
Yes, I’m going to open another brewery in Asheville–number 6 or 7, depending on when certain in-the-works breweries put the barley to the pedal.
Why another brewery? Because I’m a craft beer addict with nothing better to do than quaff brewskis and watch my waistline expand to Rush Limbagh proportions. But what about raising the kidlings, you ask? That, my friends, is the piece de resistance – the Edgy Mama Brew Pub will be the kid-friendliest brewery in America.
Those 21-and-under are welcome, but not to quaff the adult beverages. Here’s the plan: I’ll be building a basement play area for kids and a giant rubber-walled playpen for the rug rats (care provided by thirsty UNCA students-bartering’s a great thing!). All walls will be painted with blackboard paint for our budding graffiti artists. The “play” basement will have Spongebob Squarepants on continuous repeat. The play pen will feature Teletubbies DVDs. No stoners allowed in the playpens, unless they’re willing to change diapers.
I’ve got engineers working on a plan to burn the diapers in a newfangled E. coli-filtering contraption and use the heat to power the pizza ovens. The ultimate in recycling.
I’ve been researching brew recipes, and I’ve come up with formulations for an Edgy IPA, Parental Angst Porter, Shut It Stout, and Anger Management Amber Ale.”
Read the rest here.
(Here’s video of Wild and Bryan Freeborn from this morning’s Today Show, 3/13/09).
A couple of weeks ago I blogged about Asheville Girl Scout Wild Freeborn, who, via a YouTube video and some social media savvy, was trying to sell enough boxes of Girl Scout cookies to send her entire troop to GS camp for a week.
I bought 4 boxes from Wild, who told me she ended up selling around 700 total boxes, all to folks in the Asheville area (not enough to send the entire troop to camp, but still impressive). Despite her initiative and business aptitude, the Girl Scouts’ national organization made Wild remove the YouTube video, as they have an archaic rule about not selling on-line (which in truth, Wild wasn’t. No $ went over the Internets).
Two days ago, Newsweek published a story about Wild, which garnered hundreds of comments. Today Wild and her dad, Bryan Freeborn, are heading up to NYC to make an appearance on The Today Show.
Congrats to Wild for trying, inadvertantly, to drag the Girl Scouts into the 21st century. Sometimes, kids really do have the best ideas.
I’m feeling inanely happy today, for no particular reasons, except that I love this eclectic town I live in, even though my post about a local girl scout attracted some psychotic troop leader who sent mean comments in all caps (delete, delete).
I’m happy because I love my job. Because I get to meet interesting people and hear their amazing stories and then write their stories so other people can read them.
And my kids are healthy and happy and adorable, most of the time, especially on Fridays when they don’t have any homework. And I own the cutest dog in America.
Sweet Dorkie Poo
That would be me. Check out this week’s Edgy Mama Mt. X column. All about refereeing sibling battles.
As if you didn’t already know how, here’s a concise guide to driving your kids nuts. Read it in print in Wednesday’s Mountain Xpress.
Happy Monday!
Yes, my kids went to the dentist this morning, although it just happened that way, as the appointment was set six months ago. Going to the dentist is no big deal for my girl and high drama for my son. Which I plan to mine for a column I’m writing.
I’m looking for particularly dramatic kid-at-the-dentist stories, so if you’ve got one, spill it!
Here’s my column for Mountain Xpress this week. Better start getting ready for VD!
I’m writing here today. I interviewed a bunch of hilarious kindergarteners. Enjoy!
xoxoxo
My Mountain Xpress column this week gives further dets about my reintroduction to having a toddler in the house.
